Cowface Communiqués

Name: Ems
Age: 24
Location: Maryland
Occupation: Student

Musings on movies, TV, comedy, photography, and living with boobs and without spatial/motor/social skills in America.

Number of times I had been asked “So when are you getting married?” before today: like, 4?

Number of times I have been asked “So when are you getting married?” after attending my boyfriend’s sister’s baby shower today: like, 4 million?

Social media is weird. It’s tempting to correlate your followers’ feedback to the amount they care about you, but I’m learning that life doesn’t actually work that way. Like, a few weeks ago I was doing shittily emotions-wise and posted some depressing status on Facebook. Guess who commented on it? Some random dude I hung out with during my first trimester of college and then never again. Who has pledged the most money to my Kickstarter? My quasi-cousin-in-law whose preteen son hit on me throughout an entire wedding reception. I can’t gauge my value on these things.

No, the only thing that matters is who posts birthday wishes on your Wall and how many exclamation point they use.

Meanwhile, I’m half-watching Man of Steel and it is excruciating. Really, Zack Snyder, you’re about to go hard sci-fi on Superman? Seriously? Why do people keep giving this guy money.

Hey guys - I’ve procrastinated posting about this but I’m running out of people to beg, and I still need $305.

For the past few years, I’ve been helping make movies for 72 Film Fest  - basically, you make a short film in 72 hours from given criteria. It hasn’t been that fun lately because the guy who owns the equipment gets to do everything and make all the decisions while some of us (cough ahem cough the LADY members of the team) get blown off and have all the jokes taken out of our scripts while we’re asleep at one PM because we stayed up all night making sure certain people didn’t accidentally bleed out while carving foam insulation with a boxcutter.

BUT I’M NOT BITTER. Anyways, we ladies (and one Brony) have decided to branch out and make our own team so we can have fun for once and make a great short film. The only problem is that we aren’t the guy with the equipment, so we’re going to be making this film on a Samsung Galaxy S3 unless we get a little help.

Donation rewards include: handwritten letters with personalized limericks, DVDs, team shirts, mugs, producer’s credits, and my favorite, product placement opportunities. We only get 10 minutes for our film, but if you donate $250, we will basically include a pitch for your product.

I know that there are way better Kickstarters for helping people with cancer and ending racism and stuff that don’t even make their minimum goals, but if you even give $1 it makes a huge difference.


Oh yeah, I forgot to put in a link to it. Derp, here is a link to it.


Twins just born at the Lincoln Children’s Zoo

arb red pandas


14 Unusual Coloring Books for Adults

AHHHHH, this couldn’t have been posted three two days ago? I just spent like $20 on coloring books with glitter on them. Also? It’s basically impossible to find a coloring book at Barnes and Noble that doesn’t have a brand or character associated with it. 

Dude, I just need a repetitive, creative/mindless hobby that doesn’t require a screen. I don’t want to cover my fridge with a Wreck It Ralph or a Ninja Turtle.

This is the Arcade Fire of TV shows.
Mike, on The Leftovers.