February 2012
61 posts
Unbelievable
Last night Will Gregory and I had what I thought was a thoughtful conversation about why things never happened between us.
This morning, he called me three times at 15-minute intervals until I picked up. I was all, “why would you call me three times early in the morning on a Sunday” and he was like, “I need you to come pick me up at the Marriott by the college.” Because...
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I'm not watching the Oscars alone this year
Is that like livetweeting it but with your mouth? I don’t understand.
Oww, what
I finished that screenplay. It’s eleven pages, but it’s also a first draft, so.
but I also somehow bruised or injured my tailbone today or last night and it hurts like a mother.
fin.
More truth
I always tell people that I stopped writing because I have a degree in it. I say this so often that I forgot the actual reason, and that reason is panic attacks.
Fifteen minute screenplay due this week. I volunteered to do it. What a shitshow.
Wait a sec
This means a month without Parks and Recreation, guys.
Fuuuuck.
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Truthful Tuesday
I love the word “unctuous” and dislike the word “giggle.” Face it. You’re a grown-ass woman. You laugh.
Until yesterday, I thought Jerzy Kosinski and Paddy Chayefsky were the same person. But don’t worry, I have Wassily Kandinsky on lock.
I live in a town where the bowling alley is packed to capacity at 8pm on a Monday and there are no more open lanes for an...
Dear Tumblr;
I do not enjoy feeling this vulnerable. In fact, it scares the shit out of me.
Love,
Ems
Amazing Race
Contestant: My uterus is in my throat right now...
My father: Well, that's convenient.
...
My mother and me: AUUUUGGGH NOOOOOO WHYYYYYY
What the what was that?
Who tried to pass off a season 4 episode of The Office in the Parks and Rec time slot, and oh god WHY?
I knew that Officer Dave coming back would not be easy to watch. When Louis CK’s heart breaks, your heart breaks with him. But whenever I recommend P&R to people, I always have to add, “No, I know it looks like The Office, but it doesn’t go to that well of uncomfortable,...
"You're funny."
“Really? You think so?”
“Uh, yes? Why else would I say that?”
I think you would like him, Tumblr. I really do.
In other news
Downtown Frederick looks pretty neat when everything is a colorful smear of light.
Here's a fun anecdote that will hopefully read as...
So, the way my Thursday works is this: my two-hour class ends at 8:30. The last bus of the night comes at 8:30. I have permission to leave ten minutes early.
As you know, my vision is limited because my glasses broke this morning, so the wall clock looks like a circle with a long blob and a hypothetical blob.
I looked at the clock and saw the long blob pointing directly downward, and was...
Facts
If your glasses break, and you can’t afford new ones, you may fix your glasses with superglue.
If your glasses are held together with superglue, a month of rain, snow, and tears will disintegrate the superglue.
If you are trying to wipe your glasses off after boarding a bus, and it’s raining, they might break.
You might have to spend your beer allocation on more superglue.
When...
Oh, Tumblr app
I half-wrote my previous post before class started. Then class started, and I put my iPod in my pocket, and Tumblr sent what I had written.
Luckily, because of the subject matter, it came across as a brilliant piece of performance art.
Tumblr sins
I treat it like a Livejournal (minus questionnaires… generally)
I am too shy to send messages to people I want to be friends with, and I only send replies when I’m in a very specific mood.
I don’t post enough pictures of myself, apparently. I still think about this one drama-inspiring post from a long time ago wherein someone was complaining about another user who supposedly...
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Virginity meme
I was an 18 year old freshman in college. We did it the week before school ended, after seeing X-Men 3. Other than that, it was relatively pleasant. I basically had to throw myself at the guy, who was my first real boyfriend, Andy. He had a low sex drive and I was determined to lose my virginity by age eighteen, and my birthday was on the first day of school the next year, and I didn’t want...
I'm done rubbing it in (after this)
M: you totally tricked me into taking you out on a valentine's date #thanks
Me: I'm wily as hell
M: you and your wiles give me the willies
Me: I'm going to take that #thanks as #unsarcastic
M: #asyoushould
Guess who has a Valentine's date?
Free ice cream at Ben & Jerry’s. Possibly kissing.
YES
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gretchenalice replied to your post: @8^(O)
Trump?
Good guess!
It’s Louis CK.
@8^(O)
Mike and I made a game out of typing out emoticons and guessing which celebrities they were supposed to resemble.
He got this one on the first try.
Guesses?
You guys have weird taste.
But I’m not complaining.
Chronicle, cont.
Did I mention that Chronicle was fucking awesome? This worked out perfectly. Whenever I go to see movies on dates, especially early on in the dating cycle, I tend to pay a quarter of my attention to the movie, a quarter of my attention to the inevitable asshole with a cellphone out two rows in front of me, and half of my attention to the guy I’m with to gauge if his reactions are acceptable...
OMFG, Chronicle
See it see it see it see it see it
Remember when I went all nuts about Haywire? Yeah, no. It doesn’t happen often that I pick a favorite movie of the year in January and have a new favorite movie of the year in February. If this trend continues, whatever I see in December with be earth-shatteringly orgasmic and accompanied by a gospel choir of chubby, bearded angels playing...
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I miss Favrd.
girl-detective:
wordishness:
Favrd started all of this.
I started Tweeting in January 2009. At first maybe once a week, then gradually more. I found hilarious, amazing people to follow, mostly just by browsing the follow lists of a few greats like badbanana and hotdogsladies. From there, I discovered Favrd.
I wish I could say it was some transcendent, amazing experience, but it wasn’t....
I just got home
Thursday has been the best day of the week since before I can remember, but trivia night just made it a lot better.
Happy Endings
Can I just remark as to how refreshing it is to see gay characters with actual romantic tension? Woo!
Also, this week was funny as butts. Don’t watch sitcoms in public computer labs.
Awesome features of paper books I didn't think...
They’re great conversation starters.
You can read them in the snow.
They don’t run out of batteries
What's worse than turning in work that is...
A lot of things. Like, practically every goddamn thing that could possibly happen. Man up, self. It’s just supposed to be a rough draft. You just won’t be the teacher’s pet this term. Chill.
Truthful Tuesday
Hiya, Tumblr. I haven’t felt like updating much lately. School has started back up and I’m taking twice as many classes this term, and the ones I’m taking are much faster-paced than last term’s, so I’ve been working in the graphics lab nonstop. And I’ve also been feeling bitter and angry about everything lately and that never goes over well. Not that it would...
Is there any relief quite like a pregnancy scare...
Nope.
Apparently photoshopping spoons into sporks is harder than it looks.
Also, I’m still trying to figure out the whole transferring photos from my iPod to the computer thing.
Confession
I’ve seen 5 episodes of Downton Abbey, which is almost 1/3 of the episodes, and I have no idea who any of these people are aside from Maggie Smith and Harriet Jones.
Granted, the episodes I’ve seen are the pilot and four episodes of season two, but still.
White people all look the same to me.
Dashboard tally
Posts about not caring about football: 25
Posts about the Halftime show: 35
Posts about football: less than 5.
Fun. SONG IN A CAR COMMERCIAL
But…it was the same song that was on Glee.
Basically what I’m saying is that it would be awesome and bizarre to hear “Be Calm” or “All the Pretty Girls” in a car commercial.
BTW, Fun. is a band. Their name is garbage but their songs are good.