February 2011
68 posts
So this whole time
I’ve been thinking that I didn’t want to go to tweetups because no one would talk to me.
But now I’m just realizing that people might talk to me more on Tumblr if I went to tweetups.
And I had this great metaphorical story about last Christmas, too. Dammit.
January 2011
53 posts
Voltaire
I believe it is Voltaire who people commonly quote as saying, “I do not agree with what you have to say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”
What most people don’t know is what he said after that: “But that doesn’t mean I have to stick around if you’re going to be a dick about it, even if I agree with you. Seriously, stop being a...
Remember how Super Size Me made me crave...
The movie Blue Valentine made me want to get married. Big time.
Something is desperately wrong with me.
(Oh, also: the movie is very lovely, evocative and generally well done, but I’d rather watch Saw XVIII: Requiem for Suspiria Vs. Audition: The Legend of Curly’s Gold than see it again.)
Core curricula
I did P90X for an hour and a half today, and I thought I was going to throw up.
By “did P90X,” I mean “shoveled out a parking space.”
Now I know why I never exercise.
Bezique Muzjiks
My Scrabble buddy, woodcutting-and-breakfast-foods enthusiast Will Gregory, went back to school this week, and apparently his commitment to advanced studies in economics and math outweighs his commitment to getting his ass kicked daily by me in Facebook Scrabble.
Just kidding, we’re pretty evenly matched, but I was winning all of the five games we were playing when he flaked out. Now my...
Truthful 2sday
I am 5’4”. Bradley is 6’6”. He also outweighs me by about 150 pounds. It complicates things.
Truthful Tuesday
All of this talk about Taco Bell’s lack of actual beef is making me crave Taco Bell.
This is much like when I worked at Wonder Book and Video and we played Super Size Me on the TVs, and immediately afterward I left to take my lunch break at McDonalds.
Never tell a girl that she is just "a someone." ...
Apologies to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
Me: How was your date marathon?
Harrison: It went well! Except for the part that involved driving through the dark abyss of hell, which some call Washington D.C.
Me: Fun fact: Dupont Circle is the same shape as the demonic sigil for Pain.
Harrison: So it wasn't just me! That circle was a nightmare!
Me: Dupont Circle is the worst thing in DC that isn't orange or crying.
“You know what they say about love and war…”
“Yeah, one...”
– Spaced, 1.4: “Battles”
enomalas replied to your photo: Will Gregory: I like that quite a bit. Me: It’s…
I have a serious man-crush on Ron Swanson and would love to see this in high-res so my old man eyes could read it!
Whoops! I forgot to set the clickthrough link. The one I read was at http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/638320/pyramid-jumbo.jpg.
Living
I have spent today in my underpants, eating candy, watching TV, and reading TV criticism. Do you know how many regrets I am feeling about that? Zero. Zero regrets.
Oh, also? When I was six and took computer and touchtyping classes at Mrs. Henderson’s house, she instructed me to place two spaces after a period. She was a professional computer and touchtyping instructor to young...
Who the hell is everyone talking about?
Trouble in Paradise
Bradley just pointed out that John Darnielle sounds like Weird Al.
So yeah, I can never be happy again.
YES, I AM BLOGGING THIS, YOU REGGAE-LOVING TURD ASSHOLE
“What’s a turd asshole?”
“An asshole with a turd in it.”
“Is it a reggae turd? Then it’s good.”
…
“You might get banned for posting that on the Internet.”
...
Livejournalr II: The Legend of Myspacr's Gold
Questions and Answers TEN FACTS
Name - Ems
Nicknames - Emily, Cowface, Babygirl
Any birth marks - I have a teeny one on my left temple
Hair color - brown
Natural hair color - brown
Eye color - brown
Height - 5’4
Mood - Full of gas station burger
Favorite color - Telemagenta
One Place You Want to Visit - Slovakia
TEN THIS OR THAT
Love or lust - A lot from column A, slightly...
wnes replied to your post: I don’t understand how New York City works
First you’ll need to acquire an interboro travel pass from the river overlords. Be sure to bring coins as the overlords only accept payment in nickles and blood. Then you will need to brush up on your mountain yak riding to tackle the steep hills.
This is so funny that I had to install “reply to replies” to...
I don't understand how New York City works
If I’m staying with my friends in Brooklyn somewhere, can I access the SnarkNYC tweetup?
I already asked Jeeves. He was unhelpful.
To be honest, I just really love hiding.
Once upon a time, I landed the sweetest fucking dorm room in school. It was a handicapped single with an adjoining bathroom including a tub. My boyfriend at the time (who has requested not to be named in this blog, so we will call him Grover Cleveland Garfield) had a terrible roommate situation, so he kept his XBox in my room and I would leave the door unlocked and he would hang out there...
Blanket fort consequences
When your parent asks you “What were you DOING up here? We thought you were out!” the answer is NOT “I wanted to see how long it would take you guys to notice I was gone. I’m okay, though.”
Now I know why headboards were invented
Hint: no-fuss blanket forts!
“Women are terrible drivers! The Chinese invented racism! Paedophilia is awesome!...”
– Katefeetie. You should unfollow her. Not me, though.
I wonder
if anyone has installed a Tumblr unfollow app and thought, “Wow, that was an AWESOME idea” instead of, “Wow, there are a LOT of people who I like who no longer like me.”
In and out of the shower before noon. ...
…and back to bed.
On the plus side, the second couple from last night’s Million Dollar Money Drop was adorable and I found myself genuinely glad that they won $300,000.
We could have been married by now (a conversation...
Me: If it makes you feel better, I can never remember the difference between lay and lie.
Alex: I think the plural of moose is Canada.
Me: I think a semicolon is a personal problem.
Alex: I think scansion is in the same family as scurvy.
Me: I think parsing a sentence is getting out on parole.
An incomplete list of people I have met and liked
a libertarian who is terrific at Scrabble
a schizophrenic who sings Johnny Cash karaoke
a Catholic who makes popcorn on the stove the old-fashioned way
a conservative who dresses in drag in Shakespeare plays
a Jew who wears 3 Spiderman hoodies layered instead of a winter coat
a 4Chan user who once failed calculus
liberals who hold hands at the movies
an opera singer who grows her own...
Internet shopping psychomachia
1: These dresses only go up to a 40" bust! Who the hell has a bust that small?!
2: Pretty much every normal person.
Tumblr Confession
Sometimes I still type www.livejournal.com into my browser window before I realize what I’m doing.
Top 5 Albums that Most Vividly Evoke a Specific...
sarkastickunt:
morrowplanet:
I’d love to know what yours are.
In chronological order:
Billy Joel - Glass Houses (childhood)
The Who - Quadrophenia (coming of age)
Postal Service - Give Up (stage 1 pretentious teen)
Magnetic Fields - 69 Love Songs (stage 2 pretentious teen)
The Mountain Goats - Full Force Galesburg (stage 3 pretentious college-going teen)
I don’t know if Top 5...
NBC Thursdays
Okay, I’ve officially seen NBC’s entire six-show Thursday comedy lineup, and have officially ruled thus:
Perfect Couples < Outsourced < The Office < 30 Rock < Community < Parks and Recreation. (The last two are very close in terms of cumulative laughs. Community is more stylish, but I’m a sucker for the broader world-building and heartbreaking characterization...
Breaking up with Will Federman was probably the...
If the movie “Escape from Castle Black” ever is released in theaters, please help me throw eggs at it.
CHUD.com – Cinematic Happenings Under Development... →
This has been exactly my reading since about 45 minutes into Inception, and I started writing an essay like this but got distracted and forgot.
The most succinct version of this reading I’ve seen was one of my friends’ Facebook statuses: “Of course the top doesn’t fall over. It’s a movie.”
Truthful Tuesday
Not only do I have no idea what to do with my life, but I also frequently get Gary Oldman and Geoffrey Rush mixed up.
Also, I used to say “Rosencrantz and Guilderstern” instead of Guildenstern and sometimes I think about this in the shower and feel embarrassed.
474. If you choose not to own a TV, keep it to...
Facts
My name is Ems. Not Emily. Fuck that.
I’m 23. I was born September 4, 1987.
I have no idea what kind of person I want to be, but I’m pretty sure I’m not a good person now.
Cast The Mountain Goats on Law and Order: SVU →
For clarification. Whatever, I thought it was funny. Perhaps very ill-timed, but still.
Reblog if you want "have you ever..." questions in...
missdisgrace:
pocketcontents:
cathairtumbleweeds:
As usual, this is against my better judgment.
Do your darnest, tumblr-ers.
Oh, I need something to amuse me tonight. Have at it, kids.
I’ll play too.
