Cowface Communiqués

Name: Ems
Age: 24
Location: Maryland
Occupation: Student

Musings on movies, TV, comedy, photography, and living with boobs and without spatial/motor/social skills in America.

Recent Tweets @

Someone I vaguely knew in high school posted a video called “Shit Gentrifiers Say.”

Some white libertarian dude I vaguely knew in high school posted eight. 8. unsolicited comments on it about how mocking rich people is as bad as systemic racism.

The OP unfriended the Libertarian without a word. Subsequently he has posted four. 4. Facebook statuses about how unjust, cowardly, and bigoted the OP is. 

I had to tell someone about this, so you’ll have to do, my secret public journal.

  • Where is your favorite small town and why? My grandma lives in Ogunquit, Maine. Supposedly it is the gay capital of New England and the beach is always cold. 
  • Could you solve simultaneous linear equations right now, if asked? It depends what those are.
  • Where is the weirdest place you’ve fallen asleep? Not passed out. Fallen asleep. While standing in line for a haunted house.
  • What’s your favorite nonsexual position? Third position.
  • What was the last situation or circumstance that made you cry for no apparent reason? Every time I do the dishes and the smell of rotten eggs emanates from the sink. I guess there is an apparent reason.
  • Have you ever had an out-of-body experience and if so, what was it like? I haven’t.
  • Describe something you’ve done for money but regretted. Telemarketed.
  • What is your favorite non-human smell and sound? Smell is a combo of musty book smell and cooking bacon. Sound is…thunder, probably? Or heavy rainfall on a roof.
  • What do you have in your bag or wallet right now that you didn’t know was there? Knowing my bag, I probably don’t *want* to know.
  • What is your favorite season and seasoning? Fall and salt.
  • Condom and condiment? Trojans and ketchup. (Dang, I’m not very interesting.

Many thanks to donthenerd. I don’t have any questions to ask, nor anyone to tag, so…yeah.


The latest. This has got to start counting as internship hours after a while, right? 

This is the first time I’ve seen something I made pop up on my dash. Fuuuck yeah.

(via sigmalibrae)

My eighth birthday party was a *prestige* birthday party.


Poster: HBO’s ‘Silicon Valley’ | EW


Today, at work, I learned that they record everything you say into the headset, even when you have the other person on hold. For the next eight hours, I could do nothing but imagine the sheer thousands of times that my kind, grandmotherly supervisor and the kind, grandfatherly quality control manager have heard me say various permutations of “jesus”, “cock-sucking”, “mother-fucking”, “dick-punching”, “ass-eating”, and “christ.”