Cowface Communiqués

Did I mention that Chronicle was fucking awesome? This worked out perfectly. Whenever I go to see movies on dates, especially early on in the dating cycle, I tend to pay a quarter of my attention to the movie, a quarter of my attention to the inevitable asshole with a cellphone out two rows in front of me, and half of my attention to the guy I’m with to gauge if his reactions are acceptable to merit touching my boobs later. Then, if the movie is stylish or thought-provoking, I unleash pretentious film-theory-minor hell in a way that I’m told comes across as off-putting and intimidating. But, when I go to movies with Pru, I spend the whole movie absorbing and developing talking points for our inevitable exit discussion. While we don’t actually have that much in common, we can debate visual prosody until the cows come home, and this comprises the core of our friendship. Our exit discussion of Chronicle was both passionate and obsessively detailed. And now I have all of that out of my system, so my prospective date won’t have to bear the full, exhausting brunt of my rush of nerd emotions. He will only have to bear a subdued, demure brunt, and then realize in two or three months that I am both overeducated and can’t tell when I’m using my outside voice.